A day in the life of an Indian

While I was going to school today I saw this big billboard saying 'A day in the life of an India'.
Here's how to go through a day in the life of a common Indian-
1.)If you're an Indian it's essential that you know how to fight.You will have to use it atleast once in two weeks if not more.Fighting doesn't necessarily have to be at home or with your friends.The greatest fights happen on the road.You are bound to see atleast one fight everyday.
Essentials of the Great Indian Street Fight-
i.)Start by shoving your opponent.
ii.)Scream loudly one vowel(preferably A).
iii.)Catch your opponent's collar and shake him while muttering something about how he had the guts to do whatever he did.
iv.)Make sure there are enough people.If not then go out of your way to ask the people in the shops nearby how he could do such a thing while explaining the whole story.
v.)If your opponent starts attacking you say that you are going to slap him so hard that he will forget his own name.
vi.)Next start explaining all the sadness in your life to the group of on-lookers and state clearly that the incident that has occurred will leave you broke and that you will not have the money to feed your children(even though this fight may not have anything to do with money)
vii.)When your opponent starts complaining pretend to attack him so that the crowd will hold you back.
viii.)If they don't pray to God for help and slap your opponent.They will surely hold you're opponent back when he tries to kick you.
ix.)Turn around look over you're shoulder and say 'Mar'(meaning slap in bengali and hindi).Then keep muttering rubbish under your breath so that the opponent thinks your abusing him.
x.)People will now start getting bored and they will make your opponent apologize to you.When he does grunt and walk away saying that some God will surely curse him.
Practice above points and you will surely get the hang of it.

2.)Learn Bolllywood dance.More then the dance observe the expressions.
Throw some random steps with your hands flailing from this side to that,your pelvis thrusting and your feet tapping.
Now the expressions.All hand movements in the downward direction have to be accompanied by the biting of the lower lip the squinting of the eyes and the expression of constipation.
All hand movements in the upward direction have to be accompanied by a drooping lower lip and a confused expression.

3.)Appreciate politics.Knowing which party is doing what will be highly helpful in group discussions.Be sure to carry ear plugs;things can get horribly loud.

4.)Know your cricketers.If in case you don't know anyone atleast know Sachin Tendulkar.He is the God of Cricket.Do the needful and brush up your IPL knowledge.

5.)Learn ways to cross the road.Just as your about to cross an empty road a car might just zoom out of nowhere.Beware.

6.)Get ready to go through hours and hours of traffic.Entertain yourself by watching the people on the road.

7.)Learn up the chorus of the current famous Bollywood song.If the verses are not known doesn't matter just repeat the chorus over and over again and then pretend to have forgotten what you were doing a while back.

8.)Have a love for food.VERY VERY IMPORTANT.

9.)Learn how to yawn really loudly while talking.Make sure your words are understandable.

10.)Lastly,be happy with what you're doing.

Proud to be an Indian!!

All I've learnt and a bit more

After a whole year,a million fights,a thousand laughs,a billion tears and a whole load of other things,I realised that this year I've learnt a lot of things.
1.)Night after night of Masterchef has taught me a whole load of cookery(though I still can't cook!)Most importantly I learnt that foie gras is goose liver!
2.)My friends taught me that there is nothing called weird.Being called crazy is actually a good thing.The more the level of madness the better the person.
3.)My sister taught me that there is always time for something you love to do.Even if your exams are the next day,there is always time.
4.)I also learnt that no matter how well I practice something,perfection comes last moment.
5.)Benglish and Hinglish exist.
6.)Turning 13 made me more childish than I ever was.Not only did I try to go back to my childhood but so did many of my friends and especially so did my sister.I started watching The Powerpuff Girls and Dexter's lab all over again!It made me realise that I knew about Amoeba long before I studied it.
7.)Starting a blog has made me realise that how few of my ideas I actually use.I also understood that most of my literary ideas don't make sense and how they always come to me while I'm bathing or eating.
8.)I can't sing.I can't sing at all.
9.)I am capable of liking a dance form even if I am incapable of doing it well.
10.)I CAN watch 3 movies back to back(I know it's not that big a deal and a million other people can do it too,but I needed a tenth point and I have run out of ideas.Sorry)
Ah well!Bye 2010!Hello 2011!
p.s.-2011 BE NICE!

Two left feet

Dance.Well,what do you say to a girl who gets too embarrassed and is unusually shy?I'm shy only when I have to dance.No fear of speaking in public or anything else.Just dance.My hand and leg coordination is probably negative.
So now imagine my position when I heard we have to salsa for sports day!I felt really scared.I had to dance in front of all the parents,teachers etc.!I was filled with dread as I started to learn all the steps.
In the beginning,my two left feet refused to obey my teacher's instructions.I felt too embarrassed to do any of the steps.Slowly and steadily,things changed.
I started liking or should I say loving the graceful dance. Even though I was still as challenged in dance as I was in the beginning,I managed to pick up all the steps perfectly.Before I would dance only in the privacy of the bathroom or my room. But now?
Now I'm dancing in front of people.Funnily my I now have a partially left right foot and a left foot!
Salsa is lot of fun!And considering it's the first dance that I'm doing with actual care I'm liking it even more!
Ah well!Hope I don't go back to the same position as I was before, after sports day!

Thoughts

I have loads of thoughts passing through my head every second.Most of them are too good to be true.But who knows what the world would be if they came true!
1.) People say that picturing a crowd in their underwear makes you fell less nervous when you're on stage.I think that by doing that you feel like bursting into peals of laughter. So whenever I imagine myself up on stage, elocuting a tragic piece and imagining the crowd like that, I see myself bursting into a huge throaty laugh just as someone tragically dies in my elocution piece.

2.)What if spiders could talk?Would they say something like,"Hey i wish i had shorter legs!" or "wow that was one delicious moth!"? When we shoo them away will they say,"Alright,alright I'm going!You don't have to be so pushy!"?
I wonder if they have a parlor where they go for their monthly hair cuts.
Well who knows?I guess I'll have to wait till I am one!(not looking forward to it)

3.)What if dolls are really murderers like that doll in 'Child's Play'?Would my ladybird soft toy a.k.a. cushion try to attack me at night?

4.)What if God had an 80's style wig and an electric guitar? Since Hindu's have a God for everything,there should be a God for this too!

5.)What if there is really a 'school' of fish?Do they learn how to lie down when they are being fried?Or how to free themselves onto a fishing hook?

6.)Maybe there are signs inside our body lined with lights pointing out the way to our ear or stomach.Maybe there are tiny little yellow creatures called minions(like the ones in the movie Despicable me)which help out our body to function properly!

7.)What if there were these voodoo dolls you could use to control people?That would be too good to be true?

8.)what if clouds are actually made of cotton candy and rain the water falling from an upturned vase in Heaven?Then thunder would be chairs and tables falling and lightning would be torch lights!

9.)What if we could change form like Mystique from X-men?
How great would that be? We could become Kate Winslet or Jennifer Lopez in the blink of an eye!

These were only a few of the array of thoughts that I have.
Caution;Stay in touch with me for a while and you'll have such thoughts too.Craziness is contagious!

There she sits...

There she sits,all alone
She has no one to console
her,to feel her pain.
As wisps of her dirty hair,
Fly across her face,
She counts the days.
The days she spent on the road
The people who ignored her;
There were loads!
All her happiness gone with the blink of an eye,
All her life became a lie.

Why was she abandoned on the street?
To bear the bitter cold,the terrible heat?
Did no one feel for her?
Did she have no mother or father?
The pain destroyed her from inside,
Sometimes she wished she died!

Another traffic jam to start her day,
Another group of people shooing her away.
She begs, she tries, she really does
But who cares for her?No one does.
The cars drive off, she's alone
No one's there to see her moan.

The people walking about
Some give her a penny or two,no doubt.
But is that enough to heal her soul?
Or give her a piece of food as a whole?
People laugh,they point and stare
At her clothes,her face, her hair.
The pain kills her from inside,
Sometimes she really wished she died.

There she sits,its late at night,
She looks up at the sky and sighs,
Another day in her life gone by......

Letters

Dear Computer,
Do you have to shut down whenever I'm listening to a great song?Do you have to hang when I'm chatting with my friends?
yours inquisitively,
Adrija

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Dear Biology,History and physics,
Could you please have a little less information?
yours furiously,
Adrija

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Dear Blog,
Does anyone read you?Does my writing bore you?Do you have better things to do with your life?,
your's depressingly,
Adrija

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Dear Adrija,
WHOA!You must have lost it completely!Your writing letters to weird people!I suggest you shut down your computer and have a glass of water and go to sleep.Please do visit
your psychiatrist tomorrow.
your's concernedly,
Adrija

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Note to self: Go and find your brains as soon as possible.
Caution to reader:Grab a pillow this might put you to sleep.

In reply to 'Late'

It didn't happen.I still followed my watch absolutely ignoring my father's tries to tell me I wasn't late.
AND
It happened again!