Yet again I'm in midst of exams. These stupid things just don't seem to leave me. My brain's shutting down. It's refusing to take in anymore info. I called Jawaharlal Nehru 'Jawaharlelu' the other day.So you can imagine my state. During my history exam I forgot the word 'opinion' so I had to leave a question and attempt another one JUST because of that. Even after suffering as much as I already have, my exams are far from finishing. I still have six left!! And it's Durga Puja now! I don't want to study! I don't!!
I dropped soup on my history book while watching T.V. It was an honest mistake OK? Don't judge me!! Coincidentally it fell on the chapter Jainism and Buddhism and on the part which was about Buddha teaching non-attachment to worldly goods! Ah well! One shouldn't cry over spilt milk or in my case soup even if it's 2 days before your history exam.
When I tried to open my whitener's cap during the maths exam I didn't realise it had become a ninja overnight. It somersaulted off my table and fell probably millimeters from my teacher's foot. Phew! Close one!
OK. Enough. About.Those. Horrible things. *thinking of something better* *comes up with nothing better.*
So
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO????!!!!???? THE EXAMS ARE IN 13 DAYS!! AHHHHH!!! *dies*
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
Exams
Exams are horrible.Face it.No matter how much I study,I end up forgetting everything right before the exam.As usual,I study beyond saturation point on the day before the exams,and when saturation point is crossed,there is precipitation, which is also known as tears.(How come I can remember this now but not during the exams?)
I keep saying the same thing over and over again-What's going to happen?
Another famous exam time line-I'm going to flunk. Seriously,we don't just say this,we really feel it!
I wake up in the morning with a funny feeling at the pit of stomach,sure that there will be projectile vomiting of any food that enters it.The journey to school feels like a few seconds because I'm trying to study.Trying to cram in a few dates,a few equations,a few diagrams or a few formulae which I should have studied before.Even then,I don't concentrate.I think,"Oh never mind!I'll study it in class before assembly." How very wrong I am!The minute I reach class,people come rushing at me to see 'just 1 page'.They end up studying,while I end up explaining to my friend about how I'm not going to finish my paper,cry,puke,jump out the window etc.
Before I know it assembly is over and I'm mock crying with my friends.Very soon,I'm seated and papers will be given out in 5 more minutes.It's 8.30 a.m. The exam starts at 9.
I pray.I wish m friends best of luck.
8.43 a.m.-I'm sitting with my question paper upside down.2 more minutes to reading time.I drum my table.I sing the song 'Imagine' by the Beatles over and over again in my head.How come this song is in my head during an exam?
Finally the 2 minutes are over.It felt like 2 decades.The bell rings;reading time begins.
while reading the paper everything seems so simple.I think,"Oh!This is so easy!Ma'am did some of these in class!" I remember what Ma'am was wearing and how she taught that portion.I remember the 'the' and the 'but' and the 'and' in her sentences but I can't remember the main important parts,which is the answer to the question.Anyway,with a lump the size of a boulder in my throat I carry on reading my paper.
I finish reading my paper in 6 minutes and I have another 9 minutes of reading time left.So I read it again.This time it takes me 2 minutes.So I stare.I stare at the invijulator,out the window,at the table,at my watch,at the hair of the person in front of me.But reading time continues.My hands are itching to write.
Finally,the glorious bell rings.I vaguely hear the teacher saying,"Start writing and best of luck."
I zoom through the objective section A of the paper.Then I start with the terribly long section B.I check my watch.I have 1 and a half hours of the total 2 hours left.
Oh,that's a cake walk!
So,I write snail-slow,the song 'Tik-Tok' by Kesha booming in my ears.How strange!I don't even like that song much!I keep writing.Half an hour left.15 questions of 2 marks each remaining.PANIC!
I breeze through each question,feeling utterly sorry for the teacher who will have to decipher my handwriting while correcting my paper!I keep spelling 'the' like 'teh','though' misses the second 'h' and 'for' looks like 'fur'.
2 minutes left and finally I finish my paper. Sigh.Again absolutely no time to check.
I stare at the dent that my pen has left on my finger.
Very soon-"Stop writing" says the invijulator. I breathe a sigh of relief.Thank God!It's over!
I quickly ive up my paper and rush out as soon as possible after dispersal for fear of discussion. I meet up with my friends and scream,"It was horrible!I couldn't remember anything!I'm sure I've messed up atleast 10 marks!"They say the same and I repeat my famous line- What's going to happen?
While going home,i'm exalted.It's over.Then suddenly all the happiness disappears.I realise I still have 7 exams left.The horrible feeling in the pit of stomach reappears.All over again I start to worry about how in the world I'm going to finish studying for the next exam.
I keep saying the same thing over and over again-What's going to happen?
Another famous exam time line-I'm going to flunk. Seriously,we don't just say this,we really feel it!
I wake up in the morning with a funny feeling at the pit of stomach,sure that there will be projectile vomiting of any food that enters it.The journey to school feels like a few seconds because I'm trying to study.Trying to cram in a few dates,a few equations,a few diagrams or a few formulae which I should have studied before.Even then,I don't concentrate.I think,"Oh never mind!I'll study it in class before assembly." How very wrong I am!The minute I reach class,people come rushing at me to see 'just 1 page'.They end up studying,while I end up explaining to my friend about how I'm not going to finish my paper,cry,puke,jump out the window etc.
Before I know it assembly is over and I'm mock crying with my friends.Very soon,I'm seated and papers will be given out in 5 more minutes.It's 8.30 a.m. The exam starts at 9.
I pray.I wish m friends best of luck.
8.43 a.m.-I'm sitting with my question paper upside down.2 more minutes to reading time.I drum my table.I sing the song 'Imagine' by the Beatles over and over again in my head.How come this song is in my head during an exam?
Finally the 2 minutes are over.It felt like 2 decades.The bell rings;reading time begins.
while reading the paper everything seems so simple.I think,"Oh!This is so easy!Ma'am did some of these in class!" I remember what Ma'am was wearing and how she taught that portion.I remember the 'the' and the 'but' and the 'and' in her sentences but I can't remember the main important parts,which is the answer to the question.Anyway,with a lump the size of a boulder in my throat I carry on reading my paper.
I finish reading my paper in 6 minutes and I have another 9 minutes of reading time left.So I read it again.This time it takes me 2 minutes.So I stare.I stare at the invijulator,out the window,at the table,at my watch,at the hair of the person in front of me.But reading time continues.My hands are itching to write.
Finally,the glorious bell rings.I vaguely hear the teacher saying,"Start writing and best of luck."
I zoom through the objective section A of the paper.Then I start with the terribly long section B.I check my watch.I have 1 and a half hours of the total 2 hours left.
Oh,that's a cake walk!
So,I write snail-slow,the song 'Tik-Tok' by Kesha booming in my ears.How strange!I don't even like that song much!I keep writing.Half an hour left.15 questions of 2 marks each remaining.PANIC!
I breeze through each question,feeling utterly sorry for the teacher who will have to decipher my handwriting while correcting my paper!I keep spelling 'the' like 'teh','though' misses the second 'h' and 'for' looks like 'fur'.
2 minutes left and finally I finish my paper. Sigh.Again absolutely no time to check.
I stare at the dent that my pen has left on my finger.
Very soon-"Stop writing" says the invijulator. I breathe a sigh of relief.Thank God!It's over!
I quickly ive up my paper and rush out as soon as possible after dispersal for fear of discussion. I meet up with my friends and scream,"It was horrible!I couldn't remember anything!I'm sure I've messed up atleast 10 marks!"They say the same and I repeat my famous line- What's going to happen?
While going home,i'm exalted.It's over.Then suddenly all the happiness disappears.I realise I still have 7 exams left.The horrible feeling in the pit of stomach reappears.All over again I start to worry about how in the world I'm going to finish studying for the next exam.
This is the first story that I wrote!I was in class 3!
A Funny New Years eve with Aunt Claire
One New Years Eve,an eight year old girl called Gwendoline Lacey was walking to the kitchen larder to get some tarts.Her father was getting ginger-beer and her mother was getting fruit cakes from a nearby food shop.They were going to have a gorgeous New Year's eve dinner.
Gwendoline was very excited.She had set the tables and was now sitting on her chair on her side.Beside her were two more chairs,facing each other,for her parents.
She sat and thought about how they would spend this splendid evening.The more she thought the more excited she felt.
Gwendoline heard a car run into the driveway.She got up,opened the window and peeped into the drive.Her mother and father stepped out of the car and behind them came a gigantic figure of a woman.It was that terrifying aunt of hers-Aunt Claire!
Her mother walked into the room.She was tall, skinny and jolly woman.She said,"Hello Gwen dear!We met your aunt at the food shop and we invited her over!"
Gwendoline was terrified of her aunt.But she tried her best not to show it while she was speaking.She said,"Bonjour, Aunt Claire! (Her aunt was French so instead of saying 'hello' she had to say 'bonjour'.)
Gwendoline brought another glass,a spoon,a fork,a plate and a chair to the table for her aunt.She went to the larder and brought some more jam tarts.Suddenly,she remembered that her mother had asked her to put a vase with flowers and also strawberries and sugar on the table,before she had left for the shop.Her mother had told her that this would make the dinner lovelier!She went to the living room and brought the vase with flowers and placed it in the middle of the table.She went back to the larder and brought the tin of strawberries and the pot of sugar and set that on the table.
Gwendoline's father walked in with the ginger beer.He was tall and good looking.Aunt Claire looked at him and scowled.
Gwen sat down next to her father, who said,"Lets not sit and stare at the food!"
Then Mrs.Lacey said,"Tuck in,everybody!"
Aunt Marge ate almost everything.Two bottles of ginger beer,which went 'Fizz!Fizz!Fizz!' when she opened them.She also ate fie jam tarts and three pieces of cake.Whenever Aunt Claire swallowed her food,she made a sound like a pig trying to sneeze!
Everybody was astonished to see how Aunt Claire ate.Mr.Lacey kept saying,"Slow down Claire!There's no hurry!"
Aunt Claire just didn't care!She finished her food and got up immediately and said,"Zank you for zis vonderful dinner!"Then she rushed out of the dinning room
and out the front door!
Gwendoline was feeling like bursting into fits of laughter!
Mr. and Mrs.Lacey and Gwendoline ate whatever was left and then cleared away the bits and pieces that had sprayed out of Aunt Claire's mouth while she had been speaking.
Then all of them fell asleep on their cosy beds.Gwendoline slept and dreamed of the funny New Year's eve she had had with Aunt Claire!
One New Years Eve,an eight year old girl called Gwendoline Lacey was walking to the kitchen larder to get some tarts.Her father was getting ginger-beer and her mother was getting fruit cakes from a nearby food shop.They were going to have a gorgeous New Year's eve dinner.
Gwendoline was very excited.She had set the tables and was now sitting on her chair on her side.Beside her were two more chairs,facing each other,for her parents.
She sat and thought about how they would spend this splendid evening.The more she thought the more excited she felt.
Gwendoline heard a car run into the driveway.She got up,opened the window and peeped into the drive.Her mother and father stepped out of the car and behind them came a gigantic figure of a woman.It was that terrifying aunt of hers-Aunt Claire!
Her mother walked into the room.She was tall, skinny and jolly woman.She said,"Hello Gwen dear!We met your aunt at the food shop and we invited her over!"
Gwendoline was terrified of her aunt.But she tried her best not to show it while she was speaking.She said,"Bonjour, Aunt Claire! (Her aunt was French so instead of saying 'hello' she had to say 'bonjour'.)
Gwendoline brought another glass,a spoon,a fork,a plate and a chair to the table for her aunt.She went to the larder and brought some more jam tarts.Suddenly,she remembered that her mother had asked her to put a vase with flowers and also strawberries and sugar on the table,before she had left for the shop.Her mother had told her that this would make the dinner lovelier!She went to the living room and brought the vase with flowers and placed it in the middle of the table.She went back to the larder and brought the tin of strawberries and the pot of sugar and set that on the table.
Gwendoline's father walked in with the ginger beer.He was tall and good looking.Aunt Claire looked at him and scowled.
Gwen sat down next to her father, who said,"Lets not sit and stare at the food!"
Then Mrs.Lacey said,"Tuck in,everybody!"
Aunt Marge ate almost everything.Two bottles of ginger beer,which went 'Fizz!Fizz!Fizz!' when she opened them.She also ate fie jam tarts and three pieces of cake.Whenever Aunt Claire swallowed her food,she made a sound like a pig trying to sneeze!
Everybody was astonished to see how Aunt Claire ate.Mr.Lacey kept saying,"Slow down Claire!There's no hurry!"
Aunt Claire just didn't care!She finished her food and got up immediately and said,"Zank you for zis vonderful dinner!"Then she rushed out of the dinning room
and out the front door!
Gwendoline was feeling like bursting into fits of laughter!
Mr. and Mrs.Lacey and Gwendoline ate whatever was left and then cleared away the bits and pieces that had sprayed out of Aunt Claire's mouth while she had been speaking.
Then all of them fell asleep on their cosy beds.Gwendoline slept and dreamed of the funny New Year's eve she had had with Aunt Claire!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
A day in the life of an Indian
While I was going to school today I saw this big billboard saying 'A day in the life of an India'.
Here's how to go through a day in the life of a common Indian-
1.)If you're an Indian it's essential that you know how to fight.You will have to use it atleast once in two weeks if not more.Fighting doesn't necessarily have to be at home or with your friends.The greatest fights happen on the road.You are bound to see atleast one fight everyday.
Essentials of the Great Indian Street Fight-
i.)Start by shoving your opponent.
ii.)Scream loudly one vowel(preferably A).
iii.)Catch your opponent's collar and shake him while muttering something about how he had the guts to do whatever he did.
iv.)Make sure there are enough people.If not then go out of your way to ask the people in the shops nearby how he could do such a thing while explaining the whole story.
v.)If your opponent starts attacking you say that you are going to slap him so hard that he will forget his own name.
vi.)Next start explaining all the sadness in your life to the group of on-lookers and state clearly that the incident that has occurred will leave you broke and that you will not have the money to feed your children(even though this fight may not have anything to do with money)
vii.)When your opponent starts complaining pretend to attack him so that the crowd will hold you back.
viii.)If they don't pray to God for help and slap your opponent.They will surely hold you're opponent back when he tries to kick you.
ix.)Turn around look over you're shoulder and say 'Mar'(meaning slap in bengali and hindi).Then keep muttering rubbish under your breath so that the opponent thinks your abusing him.
x.)People will now start getting bored and they will make your opponent apologize to you.When he does grunt and walk away saying that some God will surely curse him.
Practice above points and you will surely get the hang of it.
2.)Learn Bolllywood dance.More then the dance observe the expressions.
Throw some random steps with your hands flailing from this side to that,your pelvis thrusting and your feet tapping.
Now the expressions.All hand movements in the downward direction have to be accompanied by the biting of the lower lip the squinting of the eyes and the expression of constipation.
All hand movements in the upward direction have to be accompanied by a drooping lower lip and a confused expression.
3.)Appreciate politics.Knowing which party is doing what will be highly helpful in group discussions.Be sure to carry ear plugs;things can get horribly loud.
4.)Know your cricketers.If in case you don't know anyone atleast know Sachin Tendulkar.He is the God of Cricket.Do the needful and brush up your IPL knowledge.
5.)Learn ways to cross the road.Just as your about to cross an empty road a car might just zoom out of nowhere.Beware.
6.)Get ready to go through hours and hours of traffic.Entertain yourself by watching the people on the road.
7.)Learn up the chorus of the current famous Bollywood song.If the verses are not known doesn't matter just repeat the chorus over and over again and then pretend to have forgotten what you were doing a while back.
8.)Have a love for food.VERY VERY IMPORTANT.
9.)Learn how to yawn really loudly while talking.Make sure your words are understandable.
10.)Lastly,be happy with what you're doing.
Proud to be an Indian!!
Here's how to go through a day in the life of a common Indian-
1.)If you're an Indian it's essential that you know how to fight.You will have to use it atleast once in two weeks if not more.Fighting doesn't necessarily have to be at home or with your friends.The greatest fights happen on the road.You are bound to see atleast one fight everyday.
Essentials of the Great Indian Street Fight-
i.)Start by shoving your opponent.
ii.)Scream loudly one vowel(preferably A).
iii.)Catch your opponent's collar and shake him while muttering something about how he had the guts to do whatever he did.
iv.)Make sure there are enough people.If not then go out of your way to ask the people in the shops nearby how he could do such a thing while explaining the whole story.
v.)If your opponent starts attacking you say that you are going to slap him so hard that he will forget his own name.
vi.)Next start explaining all the sadness in your life to the group of on-lookers and state clearly that the incident that has occurred will leave you broke and that you will not have the money to feed your children(even though this fight may not have anything to do with money)
vii.)When your opponent starts complaining pretend to attack him so that the crowd will hold you back.
viii.)If they don't pray to God for help and slap your opponent.They will surely hold you're opponent back when he tries to kick you.
ix.)Turn around look over you're shoulder and say 'Mar'(meaning slap in bengali and hindi).Then keep muttering rubbish under your breath so that the opponent thinks your abusing him.
x.)People will now start getting bored and they will make your opponent apologize to you.When he does grunt and walk away saying that some God will surely curse him.
Practice above points and you will surely get the hang of it.
2.)Learn Bolllywood dance.More then the dance observe the expressions.
Throw some random steps with your hands flailing from this side to that,your pelvis thrusting and your feet tapping.
Now the expressions.All hand movements in the downward direction have to be accompanied by the biting of the lower lip the squinting of the eyes and the expression of constipation.
All hand movements in the upward direction have to be accompanied by a drooping lower lip and a confused expression.
3.)Appreciate politics.Knowing which party is doing what will be highly helpful in group discussions.Be sure to carry ear plugs;things can get horribly loud.
4.)Know your cricketers.If in case you don't know anyone atleast know Sachin Tendulkar.He is the God of Cricket.Do the needful and brush up your IPL knowledge.
5.)Learn ways to cross the road.Just as your about to cross an empty road a car might just zoom out of nowhere.Beware.
6.)Get ready to go through hours and hours of traffic.Entertain yourself by watching the people on the road.
7.)Learn up the chorus of the current famous Bollywood song.If the verses are not known doesn't matter just repeat the chorus over and over again and then pretend to have forgotten what you were doing a while back.
8.)Have a love for food.VERY VERY IMPORTANT.
9.)Learn how to yawn really loudly while talking.Make sure your words are understandable.
10.)Lastly,be happy with what you're doing.
Proud to be an Indian!!
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